Sleeping beauty
by phangirl132
Summary: My first fanfiction, Phan fluff. Dan has feelings for Phil and is going to come out to his family, he returns to the flat to find Phil a little too concerned.
1. Chapter 1

I've been stood here locked in this place for at least 10 minutes with my hand on the latch, ready to unlock the door and go. This is pathetic. I promised him I'd be there, I've already done a no-show once, I doubt he would be happy if I do it again.  
"Bye" I shout as I leave the flat, hesitating a little to hear the faint reply.  
"See ya."  
Despite my nerves I smile, picturing him playing on games as I close the door and get into the lift. As the lift door closes, I realize there's no turning back and start to panic. My heart starts pounding as my mind turns back from Phil back to meeting Trevor. My phone rings, making me jump. The caller ID says Trevor so I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself and pick it up.  
"Hey Trevor"  
"Hey, you are coming this time right? I'm on my second cup already."  
"Yeah, I'll be there soon, just running late."  
"Just get here before I start getting weird looks." Trevor pleads in a hushed tone, clearly trying to keep his voice low.  
"Fine, I'm coming now. Bye." I reply, pressing the end call button just as I step outside. I find myself with my phone out, desperately trying to anything I can to keep my mind off going to meet him, but nothing seems to work. My head fills with worries again. This is exactly what happened last time, but I am determined to get it right this time, not to turn back. 'What if he hates me for it? What if he stops talking to me? He has never been the most supportive of brothers.' I try to block the thoughts out and tell myself 'Still, whatever he thinks about it he won't let anybody else know. He never has before and I can't stand not to tell him anymore.' I tell myself, speeding up.

Finally, I'm here. I push open the door and shoot an apologetic look over to our usual table, where Trevor is sat, looking slightly relieved as he sees me. I walk over to the counter to order my coffee. I nod to the person who serves me when he asks if I want my usual, drumming my fingers on the counter as I wait.

Slipping into the seat opposite Trevor, I set my coffee down and apologise for last time. We catch up on all sorts of things, talking about everything from his roommate at college to my youtube videos. After a good while of talking about anything and everything, skirting around what I came here to say, Trevor finally prompts me.  
"You said you needed to tell me something. I'm sorry but I've got to go soon so you're going to have to just tell me."  
"Yeah... Sorry, I've avoided it haven't I? Sorry for not telling you before. It's just so scary telling anyone." I ramble, leaving him looking at me expectantly. I know I'm going to have to say it but as much as I try, the words won't come out. My throat goes dry so I choke down the Last of my coffee.  
"I'm gay." I mutter.  
"you're what?" Trevor says.  
"I'm gay." I confess, a little louder than the first time.  
"seriously?" Trevor asks in disbelief, the disgust plain on his face "you're... That?"  
I nod, feeling my cheeks burning. A glance back at him confirms it all, the look on his face is unmistakable. I fight tears which sting my eyes. Another look up makes it even worse. He can't wait to get away so he wastes no time in going, just leaving without saying another word.

I sprint up the stairs, get into the flat, and dart for my bedroom as I feel tears welling up in my eyes. My legs give way and I am left sitting against the door, sobbing as the reaction plays on repeat in my head. The disgust in his eyes will stick in my mind forever.  
"Are you okay in there Dan?" Phil's voice comes from just behind the door as it presses up against my back.  
"Yes, just go back to whatever you were doing." I say, just about keeping my voice normal.  
The pressing against my back is getting stronger. I'll take that as a no then. I grab my shirt and hastily wipe my tears away before he can see. My furry hat is on the bed, before I even know what I'm doing I fling myself towards it, tugging the hat on just in time before Phil comes in and sees me. He almost falls in because of my sudden move but doesn't smile or laugh. His expression is concerned, worry clearly displayed on his face when he sees me. As soon as I see his face I want to just break down in tears and tell him everything, let him try to make me feel better. Of course this is something I can't do if I want to keep this friendship we have, It would be destroyed. In an attempt to keep my tears hidden and my urge to tell him suppressed I mutter that I'm fine as I scoot past him, my heart pounding only half from the running to get here.

A few hours later Phil shouts through from the kitchen.  
"Dan. Tea's ready."  
I walk in, still with my head down and hat on in a pathetic attempt to disguise the redness of my eyes. I glance up and catch Phil's expression. Concern, disappointment and upset etched onto it. It fills me with pain and anger, realizing that it's because of me. I grab my plate and take the hat off, tossing it on the table when I get back to sit down and realize there's no point in it. He knows I cried, I've never cried like that before. He knows how bad something has to be to make me like this. Most of all he knows me. That disappointment in his eyes is aimed at me, I know it. He thinks I can't trust him enough to tell him. An argument starts to form in my head, one side believing he will understand and wanting to tell him everything, the other convinced it would ruin everything.

My mouth opens without sound multiple times in the next hour, the words unable to reach my lips each time. The risk is just too big for me to let this slip and I know that yet I can't help but want to tell him. If I'm with him any longer I know I will blurt it out and ruin everything. When I look down at my plate I find it almost untouched and cold. Phil's plate is not much better so I get up, put it on the table, picking my laptop up instead and mumble something about going to bed. Leaving him is so hard when I want to tell him so bad, when I want to be with him more than ever. As I walk out I get a glimpse of his eyes, they make me so much more guilty and desperate, making me desperate to just let it all spill out every time I look at them, so I hurry out, closing the door behind me. Once again I feel the familiar prickle of tears in my eyes.

In my bedroom I decide to attempt to distract myself with the internet, trying so hard to keep my thoughts away from today but my thoughts return to it over again. My brother hates me now. I spent half my life trying to be like him and knowing that he won't want to know me any more just makes this all the more painful.

Trevor hates me now and Phil probably thinks I don't trust him. Nice going Dan.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n** Sorry about the short chapter, I just wanted to separate this from chapter 1, also sorry if this isn't very good. Please review telling me what you think of the story so far. Thanks for reading.

can't even try to fool myself any more. Tumblr, Facebook and twitter don't distract me no matter how much I try. Not even planning a video helps. For once even I can't procrastinate. After hours of trying to keep my mind off today's events I leave my laptop there beside me and lay down, finally admitting defeat. Today comes flooding back, Trevor's face when I told him and the way he left me there, too disgusted even at the thought of being close to me.

Phil's eyes get into my head yet again, making me feel guilty all over again. What if I go to tell him now? What if I could get over the nerves? My head turns back to the scenario played in my head so many times over the last couple of weeks. It plays out like every other time. It has become expected, every time I contemplate telling him, I imagine the same scene. Like always, he looks at me with hate with a glare which pierces straight through me and raises his voice

"So years of this and you couldn't have told me? All this time you've wanted that. Get out"

I know he wont react that badly but that doesn't stop me from assuming the worst.

My pillow is damp with tears when I hear his voice again, this time soft as the door opens a crack.

"Are you okay Dan?"

I scramble for the duvet at the bottom of the bed and pull it over me, wiping my eyes with it and closing my eyes just in time as I hear the door open more and hear his movement as he walks towards me. I feel his weight on the edge of the bed and his breath as he looks down at me. I feel his hand brushing hair out of my eyes, lingering there for a while before his lips press on my head, making my heart pound so loud I wonder how he can't hear it. It's only friendly, if a little more affectionate than usual, but I can't help just wishing and even hoping it's more than that.

"I love you Dan" I hear him whisper, his voice slightly wavering.

My heart thumping even harder than before, I try hard not to smile in fear of him realising I'm not asleep and only half succeed as a small smile works its way onto my lips just before I hear the gentle click of the door closing once he had got up from the bed.

After my initial reaction my head seems to fill with conflicting thoughts, somehow thinking simultaneously that Phil may just love me in a friendly way and that 'I love you' is rarely something you say lightly or in any other way. My thoughts keep me up for a while, even bringing me to the tumblr Phan tag before I decide I'm just setting myself up for disappointment and put the laptop on the floor beside the bed, still undecided on what exactly Phil meant. Whatever he meant it had certainly cheered me up, making me smile as I finally fall to sleep, a sharp contrast to the tears from before he came in.


	3. Chapter 3

I simply can not stop thinking about yesterday. I don't even know what to feel, after the disaster with Trevor at Starbucks and Phil's 'I love you' last night, it's pretty hard to get my head in order. Phil knocks on the door, having heard my earlier pacing and seen me run through to the kitchen and back. He calls through to me to hurry up, so my eyes flick to the time we're supposed to go out to do the radio show soon. I grab my straighteners, getting to work on my hobbit hair.

I've finished straightening my hair now but I feel a little guilty for lounging about this long. Phil waited longer than usual to tell me to hurry up and as my head doesn't seem to work today, so I completely ignored the radio show and the time. I can see Phil sat on his bed, frantically tipping his phone from side to side, completely engrossed in dodging and jumping. I jump onto the bed, pushing him sideways, towards the wall. "Dan, I was doing good then." Phil tells me, trying hard not to smile and failing miserably. "Ready to go." I say, looking at my phone for the time. "Look. We're late" I tell him, flashing the lock screen at him to show him the time. "You're still not used to that are you?" Phil chuckles. For a moment I have no idea what he's talking about, then it dawns on me. I set my phone forward half an hour on new years day, convinced it would help me get up earlier to go to the gym. "Not really" I reply, laughing at my stupidity. "Come on then, show me those gaming skills" I tease, pointing at his phone.

He starts playing, getting engrossed once again as the game gets harder, tilting it back and forth making it almost impossible to keep track of from my angle. He gets more involved as he goes along, slightly tilting his head with the phone and his smile getting wider with each passing second. I can't resist it. I lean forward to kiss him, my nerves in shatters before I realise he's kissing me back. When I pull away, both of us are blushing a dark shade of red and shocked at what just happened.

After a few minutes of near silence, just lying there cuddling, it's time to go. We clasp each other's hand and go, ready to spring apart at the sight of anyone we know. When we get out onto the street I lean over and whisper into his ear. "Does this mean we're together?" "If that's what you want." He replies. There's nobody looking so I peck him on the cheek in answer. His grip on my hand tightens for a second and a goofy smile appears on his face.

When the show finally starts we manage to stop blushing, but only managing to give partial attention to the show. "Another of your incredible drawing videos is coming up... Now." Phil says to the camera and presses a button. He starts doing a funny dance, managing to make himself look a combination of childish and cute. He should do that later to show the fans. I help him up from the floor where he has somehow fallen and give him a light kiss as he stands up again. His cheeks go bright red and I feel mine going slightly red too. Thankfully everybody was either busy on twitter or getting a few things ready for Dan vs Phil. After some joking about with the owl and the lion I search for some more tweets to read out. Twitter is flooded with constant tweets of 'PHAN IS REAL!' I call Phil over to show him and we exchange puzzled looks. We get these tweets quite often, but never as many as this. We remain confused before I stumble across one with a picture link of us from when Phil fell. Shit. The site confirms it, we put a song on instead of a video. I'm not going to let this ruin the show so I go onto this week's tag and print a few tweets out, painting a smile on. "Don't worry, just ignore it till the end of the show." I say as I pass him.

Back at the flat we devour the pizza in front of us. I feel guilty, neither of us eaten because I wouldn't stop lounging around in my bedroom avoiding him. After staying in my room for hours I had to face him and proved myself right, I knew I wouldn't be able to resist.

It's pretty obvious Phil doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't even mention the show once we get out of there, like he's completely erased it from his mind. He's still as happy and as lively as he always is so I have decided to join him in forgetting everyone but us so we can just have a great night before I go back to thinking about it again. "Want to watch death note?" Phil says, picking up the remote and moving down the couch. "you bet." I say, moving up after him and putting my head on his chest before I feel his arm around me and look up. Before I can even register what he's going to do his lips Press against mine in a slow, meaningful kiss which seems to last forever before Phil finally pulled away. "I've waited so long to do that." He sighs, sinking back into our warm embrace. "I know. I have too." I reply, turning my attention back to the tv, still with a grin on my face.

After a good few hours in front of the tv it looks like both of us are on the edge of falling to sleep so I get up. "Off to bed now. I'm going to pass out here if I don't." I tell Phil, giving him one last hug before I go to bed and turning to walk out of the room. "Me too." I hear from behind. "Good night then." I say. I feel a hand on my back as I go to walk into my bedroom. "Want to sleep in mine tonight?" He asks. I turn around to see him looking shy and embarrassed. He's so cute. And he's mine. "Okay. If you don't mind" I say, probably looking as embarrassed as he did.

In his room I just strip down to my underwear and jump into bed before Phil could get any more than a glance at me. It's still mad that we're together, everything we do gives me butterflies so jumping into his bed gives me a massive attack of them He laughs at me but does the same, jumping under as fast as he can even though there is hardly any light for me to see him in. I close my eyes and brace myself what I'm about to say. "I love you Phil." I say, relief spreading through me when he answers, even though I know the answer anyway.  
"I love you too."

a/n sorry for these being so late. I'm way too lazy with this. Please leave me a comment telling me what you think of this so far. Hopefully I will get this updated sooner than this was.


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